Monthly Archives: May 2011

Leaning on God

First off, Happy Mother’s Day! I am so blessed with the most wonderful Mom I could ask for, she is my best friend and biggest support in everything. I love you Mom!

Mom and I

Now, on to this crazy week.

Do you ever feel like everything is coming at you all at once? Well, that’s how things have felt for me lately. This week was exhausting in every way: physically, mentally and emotionally.

God really challenged me this week in many aspects; He challenged me in my patience, compassion, unconditional love, forgiveness and faith. Without a doubt it has been the most difficult thing I have ever experienced in my life. I have been tempted to give into doubt, fear, anger, jealousy and feelings of betrayal. But because I chose to lean on God and not myself I was able to see the truth He was showing me in His word, that He will never leave me or forsake me. I had to let go of that part of me that wants to try to fix everything, and give everything to the one who formed the world in His hands and cares about every worry of my heart.

While nothing can or will be solved immediately, I have such peace that God is already taking care of those things that I can’t. When things happen in life, I am reminded of the things that really matter: faith, family and friends. It is so easy to become consumed by things in this world that do not last and at the end of the day don’t even matter. The most important question to ask is not did I lose weight today? or did I eat right today?, but did I serve God and love others today?

Do I still have doubts? Yes, I have many. Am I scared of the future? Yes, I’m scared of the uncertainty and the challenges I know will appear. But I have come to understand for really the first time in my life, that when God’s Spirit is in you, you are freed from worry and fear. I can see now that God was preparing me for this week, through subtle, gentle urgings He was leading me to a place beyond myself. So that when the time came, I could be forgiving, understanding and quite miraculously without anger.

God taught me a lesson this week that I should have learned long ago. When you forgive someone, not only do you free them from guilt and shame, you free yourself from anger and take a giant leap towards healing.

I hope your week will be full of love, hope, peace and faith.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

1 Peter 4:8